Tuesday Night 7pm Step/Story/Topic Meeting

Readings

 

The Opening

Sex Addicts Anonymous is a fellowship of
men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other
so they may overcome their sexual addiction and help others recover from
sexual addiction and dependency.

Membership is open to all who share a desire
to stop addictive sexual behavior. There is no other requirement.

Our common goals are to become sexually healthy
and to help other sex addicts achieve freedom from compulsive sexual behavior.

SAA is supported through voluntary contributions
from members.

We are not affiliated with any other twelve-step
programs, nor are we a part of any other organization. We do not support,
endorse, or oppose outside causes or issues.

Sex Addicts Anonymous is a spiritual program
based on the principles and traditions of Alcoholic Anonymous. We are grateful
to A.A. for this gift which makes our recovery possible

 

 

How it Works

 

Rarely have we seen a person fail who has
thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot
or will not completely give themselves to this simple program. They cannot
develop a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. There are those,
too, who suffer from serious emotional and mental disorders, but many of
them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.

Our stories disclose in a general way what
we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now. If you have
decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get
it, then you are ready to take certain steps.

At some of these we balked. We thought we
could find an easier, softer way. But, we could not. With all the earnestness
at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very
start. Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result
was nil until we let go absolutely.

Remember that we deal with sexual addiction
– cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too much for us. But
there is One who has all power – that One is God. May you find God now!

Half measures availed us nothing. We stood
at the turning point. We asked God’s protection and care with complete
abandon.

Here are the steps we took, which are suggested
as a program of recovery.

The 12 Steps of Sex Addicts Anonymous

1. We admitted we were powerless over addictive
   sexual behavior – that our lives had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves
   could restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives
   over to the care of God as we understood God.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory
   of ourselves.

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another
   human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these
   defects of character.

7. Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and
   became willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible,
   except when to do so would injure them or others.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when
    we were wrong promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve
    our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge
    of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result
    of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other sex addicts and
    to practice these principles in our lives.

Many of us exclaimed, “What an order! I can’t
go through with it.” Do not be discouraged. No one among us has been able
to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles. We are
not saints. The point is that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines.
The principles we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual
progress rather than spiritual perfection.

Our personal adventures before and after
make clear three pertinent ideas:

(a) That we were sexually addicted and could
not manage our lives.

(b) That probably no human power could have
relieved our addiction.

(c) That God could and would if God were
sought.

 

THE TWELVE TRADITIONS OF SEX ADDICTS ANONYMOUS

1. Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon S.A.A. unity.

2. For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority—a loving God as expressed in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.

3. The only requirement for S.A.A. membership is a desire to stop addictive sexual behavior.

4. Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or S.A.A. as a whole.

5. Each group has but one primary purpose—to carry its message to the sex addict who still suffers.

6. An S.A.A. group ought never endorse, finance, or lend the S.A.A. name to any related facility or outside enterprise lest problems of money, property, and prestige divert us from our primary purpose.

7. Every S.A.A. group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.

8. S.A.A. should remain forever nonprofessional, but our service centers may employ special workers.

9. S.A.A., as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.

10. S.A.A. has no opinion on outside issues; hence the S.A.A. name ought never be drawn into public controversy.

11. Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, TV, and films.

12. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.

 

Abstinence Statement

 

Our primary purpose is to abstain from sexually
compulsive behavior and help others achieve abstinence. In line with this
purpose, we feel that a brief statement regarding the meaning of abstinence
is in order.

First, we define abstinence in terms of behavior
rather than mental states. We do not focus our efforts upon abstaining
from mental “lust,” but from compulsive behavior. Just as A.A. focuses
on the need to stop the behavior of drinking, and as O.A. focuses on compulsive
eating, so S.A.A. focuses on compulsive sexual acting out. The lust of
the mind may take years to drain away as one works the twelve steps of
recovery; abstinence from the destructive and addictive behaviors, however,
can begin today, and is the basic foundation upon which all subsequent
personal growth depends. “Progress rather than perfection” is the atmosphere
for growth that we seek to promote.

Secondly, abstinence will be different for
each member of S.A.A., depending upon which behaviors are compulsive and
lead to pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization. Some addicts can engage
in sexual behaviors from which other addicts find they must abstain; in
S.A.A. we leave the choice up to the individual.

Finally, abstinence does not imply the complete
elimination of sexuality from the addict’s life – whether married, partnered,
or single; rather, it lays the foundation for learning a new approach to
the experience of sex and relationship, which is non-compulsive and non-destructive.
Such an approach is possible to all who earnestly desire it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Promises

 

AA Promises

If we are painstaking about this phase of
our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are
going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the
past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity
and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone,
we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness
and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and
gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude
and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity
will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which
used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what
we could not do for ourselves.

Are these extravagant promises?

We think not.

They are being fulfilled among us, sometimes
quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for
them.

 

Ottawa Promises

Through a renewed Relationship with God/our Higher Power, the healing force of recovery will take hold in our hearts. By giving ourselves over to God/our Higher Power and working our program, our lives will become manageable and we will be restored to sanity. We will receive the inner strength and support needed to face our anxieties and fears, and to deal with the painful feelings that feed our addiction.

Relations with Otherswill improve as we learn to respect our boundaries and allow others freedom to be themselves. Reaching out in trust and connecting with others will come easier, dispelling our sense of isolation and loneliness. Degrading fantasies and obsessive sexual thinking will diminish.

Relating to Ourselves, self absorption will give way to self-discovery; secrecy to honesty; feelings of unworthiness to dignity; and shame to grace. A restored integrity will guide our behavior. We will feel more alive and regain a sense of happiness. We will hear ourselves laugh again and rediscover play. We will embrace change and will grow.

ASpiritual Awakeningwill free us from the tyranny of our addiction. An awareness of being guided by a Higher Power and supported by caring friends will sustain us. Regret for the past and worry for the future will give way to living for today. We will open ourselves to the amazing possibilities of a life worth living    our life.

Are these extravagant promises?

WE THINK NOT!

We have seen them fulfilled.

They are ours, if we want them and work for them.

 

Double Winner Promises

1. We will no longer see ourselves as merely predators or prey.  Instead we will know ourselves to be integrated, whole, spiritual people, and we will let gratitude replace the view of ourselves as victims.

2. We will see that we are not so devastatingly complex that we cannot be understood.  We will be able to recognize what we have in common with those we fear and resent.

3. We will experience our pain and anger but refuse to build shrines to our feelings.   We will grow more respectful in the way we express our uncomfortable feelings.

4. We will forgive, and allow ourselves to be forgiven.  We will make peace with our past, and with all parts of ourselves.

5. We will no longer confuse love with sex, emotional dependency or romantic intrigue.

6. We will feel at last at home in our own bones and discover precisely how beautiful we are.

7. We will be committed not merely to stopping our behaviors, but to finding a new way to live.

8. We will connect in honesty and integrity with our HP, our sponsor, our fellow addicts, our partners, our families and those around us.  We will live transparent lives in which there are no secrets.

9. We will risk telling those truths about ourselves that cause us the most shame.  At the same time, we will develop a healthy sense of caution in our relationships.

10. Our behavior will be in integrity with values that are rooted in our spirituality.  We will find serenity and live in peace.

11. The fence between addict and co-addict will be transformed by empathy into a bridge of understanding with others.

12. Through trusting our Higher Power who transcends our addictions and co-addictions, we will learn to better trust ourselves and recognize trustworthy people.

 

 

 

 

The Serenity Prayer

God, grant me

The serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

Courage to change the things I can, and

Wisdom to know the difference.