tuesday9am_topic_readings
Tues 9am Topic Meeting Readings
Introduction
We are sex addicts. Our addiction nearly destroyed our lives, but we found freedom through through the recovery program of Sex Addicts Anonymous. In the fellowship of SAA, we discovered that we are not alone and that meeting regularly together to share experience, strength and hope gives us the choice to live a new life.
Our addictive sexual behavior was causing pain - to ourselves, our friends, and our loved ones. Our lives were out of control. We may have wanted to quit, making promises and many attempts to stop, yet we repeatedly failed to do so. For each of us, there came a moment of crisis. When we finally reached out for help, we found recovery through the program of SAA.
We have found, through long and painful experience, that we are unable to achieve recovery from sexual addiction through our own efforts. Our program is based on the belief, confirmed by our experience, that a Power greater than ourselves can accomplish for us what we could not do alone. By surrendering our addiction to a Higher Power, we receive the gift of recovery, one day at a time.
Sex Addicts Anonymous is a spiritual program based on the principles and traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous. Although we are not affiliated with AA or any other organization, we are deeply grateful to AA for making our recovery possible.
Our primary purpose is to stop our addictive sexual behavior and to help others recover from sexual addiction. We find a new way of living through the SAA program, and carry our message to others seeking recovery. Membership is open to all who have a desire to stop addictive sexual behavior. There is no other requirement. Our fellowship is open to women and men, regardless of age, race, religion, ethnic background, marital status, or occupation. We welcome members of any sexual identity or orientation, whether they are gay, lesbian, straight, bisexual, or transgender.
In our groups, there is a collective wisdom that has grown and been handed down over the years. We learn many new solutions to old problems. Central to these are the Twelve Steps, a spiritual program of recovery. Following thses steps leads to freedom from addictive sexual behaviors and to the healing of our minds, bodies, spirits, relationships, and sexuality.
Desperation brought us together. We found in each other what we could find nowhere else: people who knew the depth of our pain. Together we found hope and the care of a loving Higher Power. Our commitment is to help others recover from sexual addiction, just as we have been helped. This book contains our stories and our wisdom. It is dedicated to sex addicts everywhere.
THE 12 STEPS OF SEX ADDICTS ANONYMOUS
1. We admitted we were powerless over addictive sexual behavior – that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other sex addicts and to practice these principles in our lives.
These steps are the heart of our program. They contain a depth that we could hardly have guessed when we started. Over time, we establish a relationship with a Power greater than ourselves, each of us coming to an understanding of a Higher Power that is personal for us. Although the steps use the word "God" to indicate this Power, SAA is not affiliated with any religion, creed or dogma. The program offers a spiritual solution to our addiction, without requiring adherence to any specific set of beliefs or practices. The path is wide enough for everyone who wishes to walk it.
THE TWELVE TRADITIONS OF SEX ADDICTS ANONYMOUS
1. Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon S.A.A.
unity.
2. For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority—a loving God as
expressed in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do
not govern.
3. The only requirement for S.A.A. membership is a desire to stop addictive sexual
behavior.
4. Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or
S.A.A. as a whole.
5. Each group has but one primary purpose—to carry its message to the sex addict
who still suffers.
6. An S.A.A. group ought never endorse, finance, or lend the S.A.A. name to any
related facility or outside enterprise lest problems of money, property, and
prestige divert us from our primary purpose.
7. Every S.A.A. group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside
contributions.
8. S.A.A. should remain forever nonprofessional, but our service centers may
employ special workers.
9. S.A.A., as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or
committees directly responsible to those they serve.
10. S.A.A. has no opinion on outside issues; hence the S.A.A. name ought never be
drawn into public controversy.
11. Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need
always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, TV, and films.
12. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to
place principles before personalities.
Abstinence Statement
Our goal when entering the SAA Program is abstinence from one or more specific sexual behaviors. But unlike programs for recovering alcoholics or drug addicts, Sex Addicts Anonymous does not have a universal definition of abstinence.
Most of us have no desire to stop being sexual altogether. It is not sex in and of itself that causes us problems, but the addiction to certain sexual behaviors. In SAA we will be better able to determine what behavior is addictive and what is healthy. However, the fellowship does not dictate to its members what is and isn’t addictive sexual behavior. Instead we have found that it is necessary for each member to define his or her own abstinence.
Sponsorship
One of the most vital aspects of the program is sponsorship. A sponsor is a person in the Fellowship who acts as a guide to working the program of SAA, A fellow addict that we can rely on for support. Ideally a sponsor is abstinent from addictive sexual behavior, has worked the steps, and can teach us what he or she has learned from working the program. We can learn from a sponsor’s experience, struggles, successes, and mistakes. Our sponsor can help explain program fundamentals, such as how to define our sexual sobriety. Most Importantly, sponsors guide us through the Twelve Steps. If we feel like acting out, We can call our sponsor to talk about it. A sponsor can hold us accountable for our behavior. If we make a commitment to attend a meeting, our sponsor can note whether we got to the meeting or not. Sponsors can tell us if they think we are at risk for relapse. They can suggest when we are not being fully honest with ourselves. Often a sponsor is the person in the fellowship that knows us best.
The Ottowa Promises
Through a renewed Relationship with God/our Higher Power, the healing force of recovery will take hold in our hearts. By giving ourselves over to God/our Higher Power and working our program, our lives will become manageable and we will be restored to sanity. We will receive the inner strength and support needed to face our anxieties and fears, and to deal with the painful feelings that feed our addiction.
Relations with Others will improve as we learn to respect our boundaries and allow others freedom to be themselves. Reaching out in trust and connecting with others will come easier, dispelling our sense of isolation and loneliness. Degrading fantasies and obsessive sexual thinking will diminish.
Relating to Ourselves, self absorption will give way to self-discovery; secrecy to honesty; feelings of unworthiness to dignity; and shame to grace. A restored integrity will guide our behavior. We will feel more alive and regain a sense of happiness. We will hear ourselves laugh again and rediscover play. We will embrace change and will grow.
A Spiritual Awakening will free us from the tyranny of our addiction. An awareness of being guided by a Higher Power and supported by caring friends will sustain us. Regret for the past and worry for the future will give way to living for today. We will open ourselves to the amazing possibilities of a life worth living – our life.
Are these extravagant promises?
WE THINK NOT!
We have seen them fulfilled.
They are ours, if we want them and work for them.
SERENITY PRAYER
God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
THIRD STEP PRAYER
God, I offer myself to you -- to build with me
and do with me as you will.
Relieve me of the bondage of self,
that I may better do your will.
Take away my difficulties, that victory over them
may bear witness to those I would help,
of your power, your love, and your way of life.
May I do your will always.
THE UNITY PRAYER
I put my hand in yours and together we can do
what we could never do alone.
No longer is there a sense of hopelessness.
No longer must we each depend upon
our own unsteady willpower.
We are all together now, reaching out our hands
for a power and strength greater than ours,
and as we join hands,
we find love and understanding
beyond our wildest dreams.