Wednesday 9:00pm Pacific Time Secretary Script: Wednesday Evening Celebration Meeting

 

Created: July 25, 2011

 

Open means: Meetings are open to anyone interested in finding out about SAA; those who attend need not have admitted that their sexual behavior is a problem.

 

 

Mixed means: Both human males and females over 18 years of age are welcome.

 


This telemeeting is managed through freeconference.com.  SAA is not affiliated with freeconference.com, but we are immensely grateful for this service.

 

For Meeting Phone # and Access Code see:

 

http://www.saa-recovery.org/Meetings/ElectronicMeetings/


The one hour meeting starts about:

  • 9:00pm Pacific Time
  • 10:00pm Mountain
  • 11:00pm Central
  • 12:00am Eastern USA

Before the meeting starts find volunteers for the Readings

  • The Opening       (From General Readings Script)
  • How it Works      (SAA Green Book Page 19 PP2 / BB Page 58)
  • The 12 Steps       (SAA Green Book Page 20 / BB Page 59)
  • On Acceptance    (Big Book 4th Edition Page 417 PP2)
  • Abstinence Statement
  • One of the three "Promises" Readings (AA/SAA, Ottawa, or Double Winners)


Wait until 9:00 pm Pacific Time to start the meeting by reading this script below.

 

Typical Meeting Agenda

         

  • Serenity Prayer ( we usually only read the first 4 lines )
  • Readings ( from this document or the tele-meeting web site )
  • Sobriety Birthdays
  • General Check-in ( where we each introduce ourselves by: <
  • Topic Meeting or a Reading Meeting
  • Reading of the Promises
  • Seventh Tradition
  • Close of the Meeting about on the hour
  • Serenity Prayer
  • Volunteer Reading for Next Week (Only applicable the 2nd to Last Wednesday of the Month)
  • 5 Minutes of Newcomers Q&A time
  • Giving of Phone Numbers
  • Occasional Brief Business Meeting
  • Open the phone lines to fellowship

 


Table of Contents Links:

 

  • Top of this Webpage
  • Start of Meeting
  • The Serenity Prayer
  • Muting the Phone
  • The Readings
  • Sobriety Birthdays
  • General Check-in
  • Topic Meeting or Reading Meeting
  • Reading The Promises
  • The Closing
  • The Closing Serenity Prayer
  • Meeting Fellowship

Optional Material

  • Business Meeting

 

Readings:

  • New Member Meeting Readings
  • The Opening
  • How it Works
  • The 12 Steps of SAA
  • On Acceptance
  • The Abstinence Statement
  • The AA/SAA Promises
  • The Ottawa Promises
  • The "Double Winners" Promises

 

Start of the Meeting- Secretary Script
    


Good evening, and welcome to the Wednesday Night Celebration One Hour Open Telemeeting of Sex Addicts Anonymous.
My name is _____________ and I am a recovering _________ (sex addict, sexaholic, sex & love addict, etc.) –– pause for greeting –– and your secretary for this meeting.

After about 15 seconds of silent meditation to reflect on what brought us here, will you please join me in the serenity prayer.


The Serenity Prayer (first 4 lines):

 

          God, grant me the serenity

          to accept the things I cannot change,

          the courage to change the things I can

          and the wisdom to know the difference.

 

          The rest of the Serenity Prayer:

          Living one day at a time;

            Enjoying one moment at a time;

            Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;

            Taking, as He did, this sinful world

            As it is, not as I would have it;

            Trusting that He will make all things right

            If I surrender to His Will;


Muting the Phone:

 

To prevent background noise while other people are talking, please mute your phone when you are not talking. If your phone does not have a mute feature, please press the *6 keys on your phone to toggle the tele–meeting mute function on and off.

{Secretary Note: Calling the meeting phone number and entering telemeeting organizer access code rather than the published access code allows secretary to toggle the meeting mode with *7 (Mode Sequence: Conversation=> (*7)=> Q&A => (*7)=> Presentation => (*7)=> Conversation); If changing the mode, Q&A mode mutes all the phones and the people can unmute by pressing *6. Presentation mode mutes all phones and only the organizer (secretary) can speak. Conversation mode: (The default mode) lets everyone talk at the same time.   To get a count of the people present with *# (add one to number given to include self). } 


   
Readings:

The Readings are assigned so lets start with the Opening and the others can follow with How it Works, 12 Steps, On Acceptance, and The Abstinence Statement. Go ahead ____________ with the Opening.

         Opening      How it Works     12 Steps     On Acceptance     The Abstinence Statement

Thank you __________ __________ ___________ ___________ and _____________ for the readings.

 

Important!

Because this is a telemeeting, the laws of all the states, provinces and countries represented apply. To protect yourself and others in this meeting, please do not be specific as to when, where, with whom, or how you have acted out. in the even that you disclose actions that violate the law regarding underage, senior, or disabled victims, participants of the meeting may be required by law to violate the anonymity of the group and report this. So, talk instead about your thinking feelings and emotions.

 

Sobriety Birthdays:

Is there anyone that is celebrating a sobriety birthday or milestone?

Do we have any more sobriety birthdays?

 

General Check-In:

Lets have general check–in. We begin by identifying ourselves by our first name, the location we are calling from, our current feelings, and the tools of recovery we find helpful today. .

 I will start:
I am ________ –– pause for greeting.
I am calling from __________.
I am feeling __________________.
and the tools I am using are ___________________.
With that I my name is ______________ and I pass.

Are there any more check-ins?

Greeting New Members:

Now, are there any new members who have never attended an SAA or other s–type meeting before, either on the phone or face–to–face? Please identify yourself by your first name so we can greet you and welcome you to this meeting.

If new members here read below and state  “there will also be time after the meeting in fellowship to ask any questions you may have, feel free to participate in meeting or you may just listen. The reading usually follows as:

  • Serenity Prayer ( which we just did )
  • Readings ( from the telemeeting web site )
  • Sobriety Birthdays
  • General Check-in ( where we each introduce ourselves )
  • We choose a topic or have a reading for the meeting
  • Open the meeting for the topic discussion
  • Reading of the Promises
  • Close of the Meeting about on the hour
  • Serenity Prayer
  • Volunteering for Reading (2nd to last Wednesday of the Month)
  • Sharing of Phone Numbers
  • Newcomers Question and Answer Time
  • Open the phone lines for fellowship

 

Topic Meeting: (All meetings, except for the last Wednesday meeting of the month which will be a reading meeting, if last Wednesday meeting skip below to the Reading Meeting).

 

Now we go to the topic portion of the meeting.

Does anyone have a suggested topic for the meeting?

Thank you ____________ for the topic!

We now open the meeting of General sharing. Participation is voluntary. You can talk about this topic, check in with your current feelings, or say your first name and pass. Please avoid mentioning the name of a Book, Movie, Treatment Center or the Like, in your share because this can be viewed by some as "promotion". It is ok, however, to talk about your experiences with these items. It is also safe to speak in "I" statements, as opposed to "you" statements. Feel free to share more specific information after the closing Serenity Prayer when Fellowship begins. Remember to mute your phone using the *6 key if you are not talking.

{ For excessive noise, ask everyone not talking to mute using *6 keys. Organizer can change to Q&A mode with *7 key. }

Generally the person choosing the topic will lead off the discussion, so would __________ like to start?

The meeting is now open.

{ At 55 minutes go to End the Meeting }


Reading Meeting (Last Wed. of the Month):

Since this is the last Wednesday of the month, we will be doing a reading out of SAA Green Book. The reading should last about 15 mins.. _______________ from last week chose the reading for tonight’s meeting. __________________ do you have that reading available tonight? Could you let us know what page this can be found on and which book? If you get tired of reading you can say pass and someone that would like to continue reading may do so. Thank you ____________ so much for the reading. You may go ahead when ready.

(After the Reading has been completed.) Thank you __________________________ for reading. We now open the meeting up for general sharing. Participation is voluntary. You can talk about this reading, check in with your current feelings, or say your first name and pass. Please avoid mentioning the name of a Book, Movie, Treatment Center or the Like, in your share because this can be viewed by some as "promotion". It is ok, however, to talk about your experiences with these items. It is also safe to speak in "I" statements, as opposed to "you" statements. Feel free to share more specific information after the closing Serenity Prayer when Fellowship begins. Remember to mute your phone using the *6 key if you are not talking.

{ For excessive noise, ask everyone not talking to mute using *6 keys. Organizer can change to Q&A mode with *7 key. }

The meeting is now open.

{ At 55 minutes go to End the Meeting }


    


End the Meeting   


Let us now end the meeting. We will have time immediately following the serenity prayer for questions from newcomers. We can meet afterward for fellowship and discussion.

 

The Seventh Tradition:

The Seventh Tradition states that every group ought to be fully self–supporting, declining outside contributions. 12–step meetings around the world pass a basket to receive donations that are used to support recovery. Because this activity is not possible in our telemeeting, I would encourage you to consider making a donation by clicking the "donate" link on the SAA telemeeting webpage www.saatalk.org or calling the SAA main office that is located in Houston 1–800–477–8191. Your donation will support the work of SAA meetings around the world.

  • Available at the Telemeeting web site www.saatalk.org are the following:
    • List of all scheduled Telemeetings ,
    • The readings and secretary scripts for this meeting under Wednesday 9pm.
    • Contribute to SAA Telemeetings via donate link.
    • Link to the Calendar of Telemeeting Events such a First Step Presentations.

 

  • Also available at the SAA ISO web site www.saarecovery.org are the following:
    • The same list of all scheduled Telemeetings ,
    • The Outer Circle (our SAA newsletter and readings),
    • Contribute to SAA via Lifeline Partners in Members Section,
    • Purchase of SAA approved literature online (or by simply calling the SAA main office)

 

If you would like to have your name and contact information included in a list that is shared with others attending the telemeetings, please go to www.saatalk.org and on the left hand side you will see a box to put your information in and receive a list automatically or you can send an e–mail with your contact information to: contactlist@saatalk.org

 

Reading the Promises:

 

Will someone please read the "The Promises". ( AA/SAA, Ottawa, or Double Winners Promises ) 


Announcement:

  

Are there any SAA announcement?

 

In Closing:

 

The opinions expressed here were strictly those of the person who gave them. What you heard was spoken in confidence and should be treated as confidential. Keep it within the walls of your room and the confines of your mind. Remember that anonymity is a core tradition on which this program depends.

Whatever problems you have, there are those among us who have had them too.

If you keep an open mind, you will find help. Let us talk to one another and reason things out, but let us not gossip or criticize each other. Instead, let the understanding, love and peace of the program grow in each of us one day at a time.

The readings are on the tele–meeting web site: www.saatalk.org


Close with the Serenity Prayer (first 4 lines) and end with “Keep coming back…”:

 

          God, grant me the serenity

          to accept the things I cannot change,

          the courage to change the things I can

          and the wisdom to know the difference.

 

          The rest of the Serenity Prayer:

          Living one day at a time;

          Enjoying one moment at a time;

          Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;

          Taking, as He did, this sinful world

          As it is, not as I would have it;

          Trusting that He will make all things right

          If I surrender to His Will;


Keep coming back, it works!

If you work it!

We do it because you are worth it!


If First Wednesday of the Month:

Since this is the first Wednesday of the month, we reserve the first five minutes of fellowship of newcomer’s questions then we will start our BRIEF Monthly Business Meeting which will be followed by fellowship.  { Jump to Sample Business Meeting Format. }


Volunteer Reading for Next Week (Only applicable the 2nd to Last Wednesday of the Month):

 

Since this is the last meeting prior to the Reading Meeting. The floor is now open for volunteers who would like to do a reading next week. The reading needs to be from the SAA Green Book.

 

(Pause for a volunteer). Thanks ____________________ for volunteering to choose and do the reading next week.

 

 

Fellowship and Discussion:

 

The phone line is now open for fellowship. We reserve the first five minutes of fellowship of newcomer’s questions.

 

Take a pause if no questions.

 

Now, it is time to exchange numbers. The line is open for anyone that would like to give out there number for recovery calls.

 

After this has finished then announce “the line will be open for general fellowship”.


Sample Business Meeting Format:

 

Agenda:

  • Call Meeting to order with the Serenity Prayer
  • Secretary asks for agenda items (Ask members to not give the whole pitch for their agenda item, but just to name what it is.)
  • Secretary determines order of agenda items
  • Old Business first (If we don’t have formal "minutes" of the previous meeting to be read, this is a good time for reports on things decided at last meeting, etc.)
  • New Business (First item is selecting secretary for this month).

Item Process:

(Remember, people become discouraged from attending the business meeting if it drags on too long, so the Secretary should keep things focused and moving. Allow people to express their views, but focus on the item in question and look for movement toward Motions to resolve them.)

  • Member gives pitch for agenda item.
  • Any discussion?
  • Other members give their views. (In spirit of 12–Step, each member speaks for themselves, without arguing, the final decision determined by group conscience. The "no cross–talk" rule is not as strict, of course, but the spirit remains.)
  • Keep discussion focused on the item in question.
  • Call for a motion when discussion is sufficient (Perhaps when each member who wants to has commented.)
  • The Motion is seconded. (If it’s not, it dies.)
  • Call for vote. Show of hands. Majority rules.

When business meeting is done:

  • Call for motion to adjourn. Seconded. Approved by group.
  • End with the Serenity Prayer

The phone line is now open for fellowship

 


The Opening:

SAA is a fellowship of men and women who share our experience, strength and hope with each other so that we may stop our compulsive sexual behaviors and help others to recover from sexual addiction and dependency.

Membership is open to all who share a desire to stop compulsive sexual behavior and are willing to try this simple program.

Sex Addicts Anonymous is a spiritual program based on the principles and traditions of Alcoholic Anonymous, but we are not affiliated with AA or any other organization or agency. We are not a religious organization or aligned with any sect or denomination. Our only connection with FreeConference.com is as a user of their free telemeeting service.

We do not support, endorse, or oppose outside causes or issues.

SAA is supported through voluntary contributions from members.  If you would like to contribute, click the "donate" link on the telemeeting website home page at www.saatalk.org or call the International Service Organization (ISO) of SAA at 1–800–477–8191.

This is not a place to meet sexual partners, nor is it group therapy. We try to listen respectfully to what others have to say and to share our experience as it seems appropriate. We do not give advice. While we all strive for sexual sobriety, its achievement is not a requirement for attendance or participation.

Anonymity is the cornerstone of the Twelve Step program. We use only our first names. Whatever our status or position outside of this group is not an issue here. Our common bond is our desire to stop our compulsive sexual behaviors and to live sexually healthy lives. Anonymity and confidentiality are essential to this being a safe place for all of us. Whoever you see here, whatever you hear here, let it stay here when you leave here. (Here, here)

We hope you join in sharing the collective experience, strength and hope that is ours when we work the program and trust our Higher Power to deliver the promises. 

    


How It Works:

Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program. They cannot develop a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. There are those, too, who suffer from serious emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest. 

Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now. If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it, then you are ready to take certain steps. 

At some of these we balked. We thought we could find an easier, softer way. But, we could not. With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely. 

Remember that we are dealing with sexual addiction – cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too much for us. But there is One who has all power – that One is God. May you find God now! 

Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point. We asked God’s protection and care with complete abandon. 

Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a program of recovery.

 

The 12 Steps of Sex Addicts Anonymous:

  1. We admitted we were powerless over addictive sexual behavior – that our lives had become unmanageable.
  2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
  3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God.
  4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
  5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
  6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
  7. Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.
  8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
  9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
  10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
  11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out.
  12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other sex addicts and to practice these principles in our lives.

Many of us exclaimed, "What an order! I can’t go through with it." Do not be discouraged. No one among us had been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles. We are not saints. The point is, that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. The principles we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection. 
Our personal adventures before and after make clear three pertinent ideas: 

  • A. That we were sexually addicted and could not manage our lives.
  • B. That probably no human being could have relieved our addiction.
  • C. That God could and would if God were sought.

   

 

The 12 Steps of Sex Addicts Anonymous:

  1. We admitted we were powerless over addictive sexual behavior – that our lives had become unmanageable.
  2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
  3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God.
  4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
  5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
  6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
  7. Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.
  8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
  9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
  10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
  11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out.
  12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other sex addicts and to practice these principles in our lives.

    


On Acceptance:

 

And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation–some fact of my life–unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. 

Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God’s world by mistake. Until I could accept my sex addiction, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life’s terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.

    


The Abstinence Statement:

Our primary purpose is to abstain from compulsive sexual behavior, and help others to achieve abstinence. A key component of SAA abstinence is that each member chooses his or her own abstinence definition, based on their own experience, and, in consultation with a sponsor and other members. Here are a few suggestions about the meaning of abstinence.

Many of us have found it helpful to define our abstinence in terms of specific behaviors, rather than focusing on thoughts or feelings. Just as AA focuses on the need to stop the behavior of drinking, and OA focuses on compulsive eating as the point of abstinence, so SAA focuses on compulsive sexual acting–out. The lust of the mind may take years to drain away as one works the Twelve Steps of recovery; abstinence from the destructive and addictive behaviors, however, can begin today, and is the foundation upon which all subsequent personal growth depends. "Progress rather than perfection" is the atmosphere for growth that we seek to promote.

Abstinence will often be different for different individual members of SAA, depending upon what behaviors are compulsive and lead to pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization. Some addicts can engage in sexual behaviors from which other addicts find they must abstain; we leave the choice up to the individual.

Recovery is not only about eliminating harmful behaviors, We also seek a positive, healthy relationship with our sexuality, regardless of sexual orientation or marital status. We seek to lay the foundation for learning a new approach to the experience of sex and relationships which is healthy, honest, and intimate.

        


The AA/SAA Promises:

If we are painstaking about this phase of our development,

  • We will be amazed before we are half way through.

 

  • We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.

 

  • We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.

 

  • We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.

 

  • No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we see how our experience can benefit others.

 

  • That feeling of uselessness and self–pity will disappear.

 

  • We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.

 

  • Self–seeking will slip away.

 

  • Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.

 

  • Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.

 

  • We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.

 

  • We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

 

Are these extravagant promises?

WE THINK NOT!!!

They are being fulfilled among us, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly.

They will always materialize if we work for them. 

    

 

The Ottawa Promises:

Through a renewed Relationship with God, our Higher Power, the healing force of recovery will take hold in our hearts. By giving ourselves over to God, our Higher Power, and working our program, our lives will become manageable and we will be restored to sanity. We will receive the inner strength and support needed to face our anxieties and fears, and to deal with the painful feelings that feed our addiction.

Relations with Others will improve as we learn to respect our boundaries and allow others freedom to be themselves. Reaching out in trust and connecting with others will come easier, dispelling our sense of isolation and loneliness. Degrading fantasies and obsessive sexual thinking will diminish.

Relating to ourselves, self-absorption will give way to self–discovery; secrecy to honesty; feelings of unworthiness to dignity; and shame to grace. A restored integrity will guide our behavior. We will feel more alive and regain a sense of happiness. We will hear ourselves laugh again and rediscover play. We will embrace change and will grow.

A Spiritual Awakening will free us from the tyranny of our addiction. An awareness of being guided by a Higher Power and supported by caring friends will sustain us. Regret for the past and worry for the future will give way to living for today. We will open ourselves to the amazing possibilities of a life worth living our life.

Are these extravagant promises?

WE THINK NOT!!!

We have seen them fulfilled.

They are ours, if we want them and work for them.
    

“Double Winner” Promises:

 

  • We will no longer see ourselves as merely predators or prey. Instead we will know ourselves to be integrated, whole, spiritual people, and we will let gratitude replace the view of ourselves as victims.
  • We will see that we are not so devastatingly complex that we cannot be understood. We will be able to recognize what we have in common with those we fear and resent.
  • We will experience our pain and anger but refuse to build shrines to our feelings. We will grow more respectful in the way we express our uncomfortable feelings.
  • We will forgive, and allow ourselves to be forgiven. We will make peace with our past, and with all parts of ourselves.
  • We will no longer confuse love with sex, emotional dependency or romantic intrigue.
  • We will feel at last at home in our own bones and discover precisely how beautiful we are.
  • We will be committed not merely to stopping our behaviors, but to finding a new way to live.
  • We will connect in honesty and integrity with our HP, our sponsor, our fellow addicts, our partners, our families and those around us. We will live transparent lives in which there are no secrets.
  • We will risk telling those truths about ourselves that cause us the most shame. At the same time, we will develop a health sense of caution in our relationships.
  • Our behavior will be in integrity with values that are rooted in our spirituality. We will find serenity and live in peace.
  • The fence between addict and co–addict will be transformed by empathy into a bridge of understanding with others.
  • Through trusting our Higher Power who transcends our addictions and co–addictions, we will learn to better trust ourselves and recognize trustworthy people.